I haven't blogged in a really long time but sometimes I hear something that resonates so deeply within me that I have to write about it.
Oprah is interviewing a woman right now who has HIV. Her husband was a homosexual, living life on the "down-low" and she had no clue. Now she is living with a life-threatening illness.
When asked how she was doing now, she said, "Well I have learned there are just some things I can't do that I used to do. I have a new normal."
Wow. That is exactly how I feel but I didn't know how to put it into words.
Sometimes when I read old blog posts or see pictures of me before my pace-maker ordeal in January 2007, I feel a sadness and a longing for how my life used to be.
Then last night, I read some posts from mid-2007 and I saw how hard I struggled then and how much easier my life is now and I felt a wave of thanksgiving wash over me.
Back in 2007, after I had surgery, I couldn't even clean my house for almost a year. I blogged that I had gone from Easter to July without mopping my kitchen floor! I don't even remember how that feels! Now I keep my house clean and lately, super clean! (I am a much happier person when my house is clean.) No one has to come help me like they used to and boy, that is a good feeling.
I've come a long way baby! I need to celebrate that and give God the glory!
No longer do I feel so much fear each night that I have to sit up in the bed and quote scripture and pray for a long time just to talk myself out of waking Mike up.
I still have some bad days....days when my chest or my arm hurts and I feel panicky about it. But that is pretty rare because I've learned my limitations and what triggers the worst pain. I've learned to say "No. I can't do that." and "This is too much for me right now." I am a happier, more relaxed me. I've also learned to live with some pain everyday and realized that I can just acclimate to it and go on with life. Compared to many people, my life is a fairy tale.
So I got to thinking about my friends and some of you who have gone through major upheavals in your life lately....do you have a "new normal?"
Are you wishing for the past and not realizing how far you've come? Or maybe you're wondering if the trial you are going through will ever ease up and you will ever get through to the other side.
I am here to tell you - there is hope for you!
One day, you will look back on the time you struggled and see how far you've come. When you do, don't forget to thank God for it!